Why Sickness, Single Parenting, and Sewing Just Don't Mix

Kevin travels a fair amount every year for work but I am okay with it.  I use the time at night to read and catch up on documentaries.  Oh, and I also indulge in some solitary snacks from time to time.  Yum - potato chips and ice cream.  During the day I try my best to be a calm and cool mom despite knowing that I am not going to get a break until the kids go to bed.  Even then, my nighttime break is sometimes interrupted because two little girls who seem to think I am lonely and don't like to sleep alone.  Nevertheless, we all survive even though we have all come to expect the expected.

Sloth, my alter ego!

What is the expected?  The expected is that the majority of the weeks when Kevin is travelling, I am sick.  Not just a little sick, flat on my back sick!  Last year he went to sunny Florida for a conference.  In the mean time I was suffering from one of the worst sinus infections I have ever had.  My head and nose were congested and I had a horrible sore throat.  After a couple days I thought I should see a doctor.  Of course, nothing was wrong with me.  Nothing.  I mentioned to the doctor that my eye was really itchy.  He said it was nothing.  I came home, put the girls down for a nap and when I woke up, I looked like Sloth from the movie The Goonies.  My eye and face were swollen and my eye was oozing.  I was so disgusting.  I packed the girls up and headed out to the eye doctor who diagnosed me with Pink Eye.  The theory was that this infection was travelling around my throat, head, nose, and ended up in both my eyes.  My face and eyes were swollen so much that I could not even drive.  My parents risked their own health to drive me around to doctors appointments and help take care of the kids.  Worst week ever.  Also super expensive with co-pays and prescriptions. Plus, I missed two weeks of work.  Fun.  So, guess what?  Kevin left today for Greenbuild in fashionable Toronto and I am home sick.  Fortunately, I am not quite as sick as I have been in the past, but I have a cold and I am cranky.  I have a mild cold but enough of a cold to make me hate life.  I tried to be productive today.  I have no idea why I felt we all needed clean sheets and laundry but we all have clean sheets and laundry.  However, the laundry is not folded and it is not going to get folded tonight!

I give a lot of credit to single parents.  Parenting is really hard and I really prefer to have a partner in crime.  Having someone else around helps you to laugh off the ridiculous instead of getting upset when you are standing in the kitchen, head filled with snot, and having the following conversation with a two year old (this conversation has been reduced for the sanity of the reader):

Violet:  I want my dinner!
Me:  Good!  I am making dinner.
Violet:  I want a bologna sandwich.
Me:  Let me get your sister's pancakes started and I will make you a sandwich.
Violet:  NO!  I WANT BOLOGNA NOW!  I WANT MY DINNER!
Me:  You will just have to wait.
Violet: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!  (crying, screaming, very distressed)
Mimi:  What am I having for dinner?  I don't want a sandwich.  Oh, you are making me pancakes!  When will my pancake be done?  Can I have chocolate chips?
Violet:  I have to go poo poo!!!! (She has been saying this all day long!)
Me:  EVERYONE STOP TALKING TO ME NOW!!!!
Violet:  GIVE ME MY BOLOGNA!!!!!

Everything today was going fine until dinner.  I did not blow up much after that but it also helped that I plopped the excitable little creatures down in front of the television to enjoy the DVD, The Hungry Caterpillar.  For any parents who do not know this trick, if your child needs to be calmed down, this DVD will do it in the matter of seconds.  Buy it now!!!!! Anyway, they are all a snooze dreaming of a day filled with all you can eat bologna and chocolate chips.

I on the other hand cannot breathe.  I have taken medicine and frankly, it has not worked. There is a large pile of Kleenex next to me and I cannot say the blowing has given me any relief.  When I woke up earlier today, I had high hopes for sewing tonight.  I could breathe, a lot of coughing, but I could breathe.  I organized my sewing area a bit and thought I would complete four pillows.  Naw!  Don't feel like it.  Plus, I don't want to make pillows full of my germs.  Imagine this description on Etsy:  Lovely pillows made with a floral decorator fabric.  These pillows were crafted with love in a smoke-free home filled with germs that will cause laryngitis, coughing, head and nose congestion.  Please use pillows at your own risk.  While I don't believe that germs really live that long on a surface, the truth is, I just don't want to sew tonight for the simple reason that I just don't feel good and I need a break.  Therefore, after sharing my experiences with you, I am calling in sick from my non-paying job.